Communication problems in relationships are very common- so much so- that no matter how great you and your sweetheart get along, you’re will definitely run into some miscommunication some time in your relationship. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren’t too hard to solve.
The Gender divide!
Men and women look at relationships in unmistakably different ways. Without and open mind, it’s all too easy to write the opposite gender off as “unreasonable” or even start thinking of their differences as childish or stupid. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in relationships.
Listen!
Remember that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you might start to think you know what your sweetheart is going to say. Unless you can read minds, you’ll get a lot farther by truly hearing your partner out. When your partner tells you something, repeat what they said to make sure you understood accurately and let them know you heard.
Don’t play the blame game!
Instead of pointing fingers and trying to decide whose fault it is, instead focus on how you’re going to solve it. Similarly, try to avoid blaming your partner for your overall disposition. Specific issues like “I feel terrible when you flirt with other people,” are fine, but all-inclusive statements like, “You make me miserable.” or “You stress me out.” are taking it a bit too far.
Just the facts!
When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. In its place, stay with what cannot be argued, like your own feelings. For example, saying “You disrespected me in front of my friends.” can be argued because standards of respect differ comprehensive, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dan you don’t think I deserve a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more visibly.
Be kind, yet frank!
You’re not helping your relationship by suffering in silence. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they will eventually reach the point where they will never heal. As an alternative, if you have a problem, tell your partner, but be gentle and kind. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt you and may be upset to hear you’re unhappy.
Don’t try to changer your partner!
Chances are your partner isn’t with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their character flaws. You’re not their therapist. You’re their friend and lover.
You may think you’re giving positive criticism, but your partner might think your love for them has died because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, support improvement by giving your partner some positive feedback when they do something you really like.
These techniques may be simple, but the really do work to solve communication problems in relationships. Give them a try.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Rebound Flings After a Break Up
Your good friend just broke up with a long-term partner, and within a week or two, your friend is dating someone who is clearly all wrong for them. It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships - it is called rebound dating.
The thought of rebound relationships is so embedded into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for someone new after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting back in the saddle. Choosing a partner when your judgment is fogged up, as a rule, does more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex, there are better ways to do it.
Band-Aid relationships
More often than not, we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. But a broken heart may not in the best condition to engage in romance. In fact, jumping right in another relationship is probably not a good thing. In many cases, it may be better to find a social time-filler that doesn’t entail romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safeguard. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less bright , less anything that you’d normally want - stay away.
Beware
When we look for someone to rebound with, we usually need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a co-worker, or your neighborhood bartender. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends - that’s friends - not lovers. There’s a difference. Try to get caught up in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around longing for your ex or drowning your sorrow in booze.
Take it Easy.
Even if your not weeping into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel like crap. It may be best not to start any key projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself and do something you enjoy like skiing or bowling.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a failure. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. Remember, if you do decide to pursue a rebound relationship, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not reducing your standards. Do not date the first creep who comes along. If you follow the above advice you can avoid rebound dates gone wrong.
The thought of rebound relationships is so embedded into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for someone new after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting back in the saddle. Choosing a partner when your judgment is fogged up, as a rule, does more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex, there are better ways to do it.
Band-Aid relationships
More often than not, we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. But a broken heart may not in the best condition to engage in romance. In fact, jumping right in another relationship is probably not a good thing. In many cases, it may be better to find a social time-filler that doesn’t entail romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safeguard. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less bright , less anything that you’d normally want - stay away.
Beware
When we look for someone to rebound with, we usually need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a co-worker, or your neighborhood bartender. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends - that’s friends - not lovers. There’s a difference. Try to get caught up in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around longing for your ex or drowning your sorrow in booze.
Take it Easy.
Even if your not weeping into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel like crap. It may be best not to start any key projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself and do something you enjoy like skiing or bowling.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a failure. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. Remember, if you do decide to pursue a rebound relationship, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not reducing your standards. Do not date the first creep who comes along. If you follow the above advice you can avoid rebound dates gone wrong.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Save Your Marriage?
Today divorce is all too common. It is easy to recognize why so many married couples start to ask, “Is there hope to save a marriage once it goes down hill?”
The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of breaking up. Not only that, but you can use the chance to build an even closer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” The answer: “Yes!” Another common question, “Should we break up?” Not if you don’t want to!
Do you believe in second chances?
In the late 1980’s, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as “unhappy.” The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as “happy” five years later. It could be just a matter of investing time and energy into making your marriage work.
With any luck this will give the other spouse time to have second thoughts about breaking up. The idea is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they’ll naturally change their behavior, too. This usually leads to an improvement in the relationship.
Does advice really help?
Sometimes it is best to get the advice of experts. Normally, we rely only on ourselves; the trouble with relying on your own judgment alone is that you’re too close to the problem. During the initial break up, usually we are very emotional – even the most level headed person can become hysterical. That’s why it is better to have the intervention of a knowledgeable and neutral third party.
The first thought that comes to mind is a marriage counselor. However, more often than not, you can’t afford one or your partner refuses to go. Nonetheless, there are other sources of advice available. There are a plethora of the marriage self-help e-books and online courses available. The question, “How do I distinguish the good save my marriage e-books from the junk?” There is not an easy answer. More than likely you will have to spend tons of money on tons of books before you finally locate the one that lives up to the hype. I will attempt to answer that important question in the near future.
But for now, let us look at the most pressing question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” I say start with working on improving yourself. Next, try to get your spouse to agree to work out your problems. If you do this together, you stand a better chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you’re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior. Your spouse may come to appreciate you again. This can be a start to stopping your break up, and saving your marriage.
The good news is that there are realistic reasons to believe that you can bring your marriage back from the brink of breaking up. Not only that, but you can use the chance to build an even closer relationship than you had before. So the answer to the question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” The answer: “Yes!” Another common question, “Should we break up?” Not if you don’t want to!
Do you believe in second chances?
In the late 1980’s, the National Survey of Families and Households in the US tracked 645 spouses who rated their marriages as “unhappy.” The survey found that those who agreed to put off divorce and give the marriage a second chance rated their marriage as “happy” five years later. It could be just a matter of investing time and energy into making your marriage work.
With any luck this will give the other spouse time to have second thoughts about breaking up. The idea is that if you change your approach to your spouse, they’ll naturally change their behavior, too. This usually leads to an improvement in the relationship.
Does advice really help?
Sometimes it is best to get the advice of experts. Normally, we rely only on ourselves; the trouble with relying on your own judgment alone is that you’re too close to the problem. During the initial break up, usually we are very emotional – even the most level headed person can become hysterical. That’s why it is better to have the intervention of a knowledgeable and neutral third party.
The first thought that comes to mind is a marriage counselor. However, more often than not, you can’t afford one or your partner refuses to go. Nonetheless, there are other sources of advice available. There are a plethora of the marriage self-help e-books and online courses available. The question, “How do I distinguish the good save my marriage e-books from the junk?” There is not an easy answer. More than likely you will have to spend tons of money on tons of books before you finally locate the one that lives up to the hype. I will attempt to answer that important question in the near future.
But for now, let us look at the most pressing question, “Is there hope to save a marriage?” I say start with working on improving yourself. Next, try to get your spouse to agree to work out your problems. If you do this together, you stand a better chance of avoiding divorce. Even if you’re the only one who wants to stay together, though, you can still turn things around just by changing your own behavior. Your spouse may come to appreciate you again. This can be a start to stopping your break up, and saving your marriage.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
From Break Up To Make Up: How Can I Save My Relationship?
From Break Up To Make Up: How Can I Save My Relationship?
Most of us have experienced a break-up, and it can be devastating. The agonizing pain of finding out that the love of your life wants to breakup is unbearable. You're hurt, disgraced, sad, scared, lonely and even angry. If you are one of the many who didn’t want the relationship to end, you probably want to go from break up to make up. You might be wondering, “How can I save my relationship?” After all, this is a relationship that you've put your heart and soul into, with someone you care deeply about.
Don't despair. Getting your ex back is not easy, but is achievable. Your relationship can remain intact, and even become stronger if you learn the right things to do to make it happen. Yes, I am living proof that you can get your ex back. It can happen if know what you’re doing. Amazingly, there are many things – simple things – that you can do to win back your ex, to get him or her to respond lovingly to you, and rekindle the flame that you once had. If you want to go from break up to make up, and learn how to get your ex back, you just have to know what those things are.
As humans we react in an optimistic manner to certain things and in a pessimistic manner to certain other things. You want to get a positive response from your lover. Yes, I am living proof that you can get your ex back. It can happen if know what you’re doing. Thoughtlessly, many people really think they know how to get an ex back, but they’re doing all the wrong things. In fact, the things they are doing are driving their ex further away!
If you're worrying to yourself, “How can I save my relationship?” The answer is in finding the right techniques to re-attract your love and keep him or her interested in you.
I bought every eBook I could find - the ones that promised to teach you how to save your relationship. I desperately wanted to go from break up to make up.
Unfortunately there are a whole lot lame eBooks supposedly teaching you how to get your ex back. Sadly, so many of these courses will leave even more disappointment, and even further apart from your ex.
That’s why I came up with an easy solution. I have broken up with my ex, and I have learned how to go from break up to make up. I saved my relationship. And you can save your relationship, too. Yes, you can MAXIMIZE your chances of getting your ex back. I learned so much, I thought about making a ‘how to go from break up to make up’ book myself, but it’s a LOT of work – way more than I have time.
So what I did is, I found the best of the best courses and e-books out there on how to get your ex back. So you don’t have to waste your time and make tough decisions about which one to try.
As I check out these courses, I’ll list them and give you my honest, unbiased opinion of each one of them.
Magic Of Getting Your Ex Back (Get Your Ex Back)
Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
The Ex Back System
Warning: If you want to go from break up to make up this is your best bet.
Most of us have experienced a break-up, and it can be devastating. The agonizing pain of finding out that the love of your life wants to breakup is unbearable. You're hurt, disgraced, sad, scared, lonely and even angry. If you are one of the many who didn’t want the relationship to end, you probably want to go from break up to make up. You might be wondering, “How can I save my relationship?” After all, this is a relationship that you've put your heart and soul into, with someone you care deeply about.
Don't despair. Getting your ex back is not easy, but is achievable. Your relationship can remain intact, and even become stronger if you learn the right things to do to make it happen. Yes, I am living proof that you can get your ex back. It can happen if know what you’re doing. Amazingly, there are many things – simple things – that you can do to win back your ex, to get him or her to respond lovingly to you, and rekindle the flame that you once had. If you want to go from break up to make up, and learn how to get your ex back, you just have to know what those things are.
As humans we react in an optimistic manner to certain things and in a pessimistic manner to certain other things. You want to get a positive response from your lover. Yes, I am living proof that you can get your ex back. It can happen if know what you’re doing. Thoughtlessly, many people really think they know how to get an ex back, but they’re doing all the wrong things. In fact, the things they are doing are driving their ex further away!
If you're worrying to yourself, “How can I save my relationship?” The answer is in finding the right techniques to re-attract your love and keep him or her interested in you.
I bought every eBook I could find - the ones that promised to teach you how to save your relationship. I desperately wanted to go from break up to make up.
Unfortunately there are a whole lot lame eBooks supposedly teaching you how to get your ex back. Sadly, so many of these courses will leave even more disappointment, and even further apart from your ex.
That’s why I came up with an easy solution. I have broken up with my ex, and I have learned how to go from break up to make up. I saved my relationship. And you can save your relationship, too. Yes, you can MAXIMIZE your chances of getting your ex back. I learned so much, I thought about making a ‘how to go from break up to make up’ book myself, but it’s a LOT of work – way more than I have time.
So what I did is, I found the best of the best courses and e-books out there on how to get your ex back. So you don’t have to waste your time and make tough decisions about which one to try.
As I check out these courses, I’ll list them and give you my honest, unbiased opinion of each one of them.
Magic Of Getting Your Ex Back (Get Your Ex Back)
Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
The Ex Back System
Warning: If you want to go from break up to make up this is your best bet.
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